Updated: Jun 21, 2020
“Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it” as said by Viktor E Frankl.
With COVID around and in view of the limelight on stress and suicide posts going viral all over social media, I thought I will share my learning which has influenced my life when I was going through ups & downs and has helped many who I was counseling that all sort of emotions need to be accepted & surrender the need to control everything for your own happiness and success and be mindful that 80% of your emotions is your self-awareness and 20% is how you manage them.
Have you heard of this book `Man’s search for meaning’ by Viktor E Frankl? It is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read who survived as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps during World War II, and he beautifully describes his psycho-therapeutic method details in identifying a purpose in life deeply imaging the outcome with a positive outlook.
I’m not going to discuss about the book but about a story which Frankl told and one of the story is when a woman called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally, she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word.
When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live?
"None of them", she told him. What then influenced her to go on living, he pressed?
Her answer was simple, it was Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night. A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another's pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live.
Often, it is not a brilliant argument that makes a difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give and that’s the “power of listening”. So when someone wants to talk to you then don’t debate it, don’t negate it, don’t give your opinion, respect their courage, sit next to them and say ` Tell me more, I’m here to listen’
Again friends, all the water in the ocean cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside. So similarly, all the pressures of life cannot hurt you unless you let them in. So make choice to LET GO and if that is difficult then share what is going inside you at least with your loved ones and that could be your family member, close friend, colleague & its OK to lose the face with these people as they know your ups & downs and most importantly they care for you and God forbid you will never get a thought to really lose yourself.
Friends, I assure you that it will really help. Lecturing doesn’t save lives, listening does. Guide them to mental wellness doctor and there is no shame in seeking their help as they are also doctors who can treat your mind like any other doctor who can treat your body when you fall sick.
Again all said & done, you are the author of your life & your life is important to you only. Remember your parents who gave this life to you and pause for a moment and visualize what will happen to them and realize that you are giving a lifelong trauma when you take such extreme step & also just think about how will they deal this when you are not around.
Coming back to Victor Frankl's book Man's Search for Meaning, he concludes that life never stops to have a meaning; it is just that a person has to find it out right on time. So just grab this book as this is a must-read 😊
While you are now sinking with the Power of Listening and finding the meaning or purpose of life, let me tell you another story here! It’s about an elephant and a pig in the forest.
One sunny day there was this huge elephant who went to a river, took a nice bath and was walking enjoying the sunshine and when it neared the bridge in the forest, it saw a WILD PIG fully soaked in mud coming from the opposite direction. This huge elephant quietly moved to one side allowing the dirty pig to pass by. What happened later is this unclean pig later spoke to his friends in all arrogance saying how big he is as even the huge elephant was afraid of him and gave way while crossing the bridge in the forest.
The gossip spreads faster than the light and obviously the elephant’s friends heard this & were surprised to hear this pig praising all self and talking low about this elephant. Few of the elephant friends who were concerned went and spoke to him & shared this side of the story. They questioned that elephant on what really happened. The huge elephant just smiled and replied, I could have easily crushed this pig under my leg but I was clean, had a nice bath, and enjoying my walk in the sunshine and the pig was very dirty and I wanted to avoid getting dirty myself so I moved aside.
So what's the moral of the story? The question to you to think - will you not get into contacts in your life too for such arrogance, negativity, politics, backstabbers? so it's the choice you need to make to avoid contact with such people not out of fear but out of a desire to keep away from all these negativity. Also, the key point here is that you need not react to every opinion every comment or every situation? Kick the drama, skip the dirty politics and keep going ahead and choose your battles wisely as not everything deserves your time and attention.
Every difficult path will give you the experience to deal and those are real lessons for you to move on in life and not to put an end to your life. Please note that every problem has a solution and in fact multiple solutions like Plan A, Plan B, Plan C. So, watch your emotions on such incidents and you need to be open to accept what you are going through, recognize how you are reacting to it and take control of it constructively and be flexible to manage it smartly.
Please note that emotions are much higher than anything, hence I request each one of you to be conscious of your emotions and of people around you. Please do give that time, pick the call when that someone wants to talk to you, be there sitting next to them & holding hands, if possible rush to the place wherever they are living and console that you are there with them and they are not alone and please act before it’s too late.
Now I request you to take an oath on this International yoga day that you will honor and respect your body as your body is a beautiful gift given by god. Take care of your body as well as mind and start practicing yoga as only yoga can heal your physical, mental & spiritual part of your body. If you agree & resonate with what I say, feel free to share this episode with all who you care, and need this message.
Really appreciate your time and thank you for reading and I wish you choose your battle wisely and find a meaning for your life as life is beautiful 😊
I'd love to know your views on this topic? Look forward to your comments!
Be Safe! Stay Calm! Be Kind!
Click to listen: https://bit.ly/chooseyourbattlewisely or
YouTube Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diZrFrYYQvc